Can't Figure Out What To Get The Kids For Christmas?

Try this!

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. 

Becky's Top Christmas Films

It's that time of year again folks, which means it's time for holiday movies to start cropping up around every friggin corner. The ABC Family Channel does a different movie every day leading up to Christmas. It's sort of insane. So, to save you the trouble of watching a bunch of crap films, here are my top recommendations for your viewing enjoyment.

Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It's a classic, and it's not very long so you don't have to sit there wanting to dig your eyes out from all of the sickening holiday cheer, or the cheerful Who singing. But, it's fun and pretty much word for word the book, so you have to love a true adaptation. And it has that great song.

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, one of the many claymation specials you come across this time of year. You may not have seen this one though, since it's actually a Pagan interpretation of how Santa came to be, and we know the Jesus Freaks don't like that too much so it's not aired on TV too often. But, it's written by the same guy who wrote The Wizard of Oz and it's a cute little story. If you haven't seen it, you should try to find a copy.

The Year Without a Santa Claus. Another claymation holiday favorite, but you have to love this one because it's got the Heat Miser and Snow Miser songs in it, which are totally catchy. It's also got nitwitted elves who aren't so great at their job, which makes me smile. Even elves suck sometimes.

The Muppet Christmas Carol. Michael Caine, Fozzie, Kermit, Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat. Seriously, I love this movie! Most of the stuff that has been made since Jim Henson's death has been awful, but somehow this film retained all of the cuteness and joy that the early Muppet films had. It's also got really cute songs and I love that Statler and Waldorf are Marley & Marley. LOVE!

This is a Christmas movie for the grown up folks, since it contains the nudity and the innuendo, but I couldn't love this movie more if you taped a $100 bill to it. I love the different stories the film follows, and I love the characters who are so believeable even if they have only had a fraction of screen time. It's honestly one of my favorite holiday movies and I'm going to watch it this weekend because that's how much I love it!

Don't like Will Ferrell? I don't care! This movie had me cracking up. It's campy, it's silly, and it's not even the tiniest bit believable but it makes you smile. I love smiling. Smiling's my favorite.

So there you have it. My list of movies that are actually worth your time to see this season. Hope you get to enjoy at least one of them.

Dear Santa

I love Foamy Squirrel.

We Do Not Butter People

So once again we're venturing into the realm of weird crap Becky thinks about. Today I got a coupon in my e-mail from Bath and Body Works for 20% off of any online purchase. Score for me, since their shower gels don't make me break out in hives like most shower gels do. But, I was looking at the ad attached for to the coupon, and there was a listing for this:

Can you read what that says? It says Body Butter. Am I the only person who thinks that sounds totally disgusting? To start with, at its very essence butter is basically just fat. So, you're saying "Hey, rub this fat onto your ass that you probably already think is fat". I don't think that's probably going to help the situation too much. I mean, I could be wrong, but I'm probably not. Plus, who wants the image of rubbing yourself down with butter? Unless they're in some sort of twisted porno, most people aren't going "Ooh, butter on my skin..." or anything. And, I realize it's not actually butter, it's a body cream moisturizer, but there HAD to be a better name for it.

An honestly, when I think of butter I think of cooking. So, you rub a turkey down with butter before you stick it in the oven (or at least I've seen this done, I do not cook or eat so I wouldn't know) so now all I think about is buttering a person for cooking. I'm suddenly very afraid that Paula Deen is going to jump out at me at the mere mention butter. I imagine it'd go something like this:

Hey ya'll. Today we're going to cook up something that everyone has. A friend! First we're going to rub them down with lots of butter and then we're going to give them just a touch of salt and pepper, not too much because you don't want to destroy that natural flavor ya'll, trust me on this one! Then, we're going to pop them into a 400 degree oven for about 4 to 6 hours, depending on the weight. I tell ya ya'll, you have never had anything quite like this.

So if anyone ever buys me Body Butter, I think I'm going to start having nightmares about Paula Deen.

Shop at Borders, Save Some Cash

Borders is doing its Friends and Family Sale November 15th through the 19th, so click the link, print your coupon and get 20% off of your purchases. Enjoy!

If My Sister's Dogs Ever Snap and Maul Her To Death...

I submit the following as possible justification of their actions.

Sometimes I Think About Crazy Things

For example, who the hell was the first person to decide to eat a pineapple? No, seriously. Look at that thing. The top is all spikey, the outside is all spikey and you have to dig the damn thing up out of the ground. Who pulled up the spiked thing (which can sometimes hurt if you're grabbing that top the wrong way!) and said "Hey, we should try eating this"? It looks like the fruit of death. I would think that primitive man would have looked at it and said "Hey, this looks painful. We should use it as a weapon!". That seems far more logical, but someone decided they were going to eat it. I like to imagine that it was done on a dare. I think it'd be a pretty good dare to force someone to eat the spiked fruit of death.

And while we're at it, do you ever wonder if people first picked oranges and tried to eat them like apples and were like "This fruit is rubbish!" because they were eating the skin, so oranges didn't get eaten for hundreds of years until someone went "Hey, if you take this nasty stuff off, the inside is really yummy" and then the orange was somehow redeemed? Sometimes I wonder if that happened.