Tuesday, December 28, 2010
My Cat Has Super Powers
I know what you're thinking, you're thinking that my cat doesn't have super powers. You are both wrong and incapable of understanding all of the power that can be packed into a cat this size. He's 20 lbs of giant cat cuddle and he is a force to be reckoned with. Most people don't realize it because so few people actually get to see him. He's a bit shy, and he doesn't socialize with visitors often. There are a few exceptions of people he has decided he loves upon first meeting, but it's rare. Most people have to win him over. But none of this really has anything to do with his super powers. It's just an intro to my good pal Errol, aka Chubbs.
No, the super power is evil and stealthy. See, my pal Chubbs there is a big fat kitty. He's practically got his own gravitational pull, and as a result, his primary job seems to be generating body heat. On top of that, he's got super soft cuddly fur which helps hold in all of that body heat. So when he sits on your lap, or cuddles up against you he's so warm and snuggly and suddenly you find yourself getting sleepy. Very very sleepy. That's right, my cat can put you to sleep like it's his friggin' job. I defy anyone to let him lay on their lap and not start to get drowsy. Even Jason, who never naps and rarely just nods off on the sofa, is powerless to resist it. Ten minutes of Errol snuggle and he's out. It can't be helped. The cat lulls you into comfort and a sense of security and then you are asleep and you don't even remember when it happened. I'm convinced this is part of Norbert's doing, as she is probably having him test his powers so that some day she can have him put us to sleep and then kill us in our sleep, or at the very least arrange a sacrifice to her demon gods of evil.
On Sunday I laid on the couch watching Jason play video games and the next thing I know, Errol is laying on my chest and I've been sleeping for 4 hours. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! I'm telling you, this cat had better use his powers for good instead of evil.