Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My Trip So Far

So far in New England, we've been pretty much everywhere. We've hit Quincy and Boston Massachusetts to see John Adams house and the Freedom Trail, and Poughkeepsie NY to see FDR's house, the Presidential Library and the Vanderbilt mansion. It's been a lot of history in not a ton of time, but it's been a lot of fun. Here are a few pictures from out trip so far.

FDR's house, Springwood
FDR and Eleanor's graves in the rose garden at Springwood

Fountain in the Italian Gardens at the Vanderbilt mansion
Bridge at the Vanderbilt mansion, part of the driveway
Vanderbilt Mansion
John Adams birthplace
Peacefield, the John Adams residence
Adams Library at Peacefield
Old North Church in Boston
The house I think I should be living in

Also, while out here we've been spending time with our friends and their children.  One of these children is six years old.  She sometimes says things that are hilarious, though she doesn't even realize her own hilarity.  The other day we were talking about hating Hannah Montana and her sister said "Oh gee, I'm Hannah Montana, the only reason people like me is because I have a nice butt" and little Josie says "But you do have a nice butt!"  Jason and I start laughing at the sincerity of the statement, she looks at us as she walks behind her sister and gestures to Jenna's butt and says "Doesn't Jenna have a nice butt?  She does!"

Out of the mouths of babes...

Friday, August 22, 2008

Like A Masochist in Newport...

I'm Rhode Island Bound!

Ok so I stole that line from Family Guy but whatever. I'm still going to Rhode Island as of 12:00 today. Heck yeah! Catch ya when I'm back.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dear Warner Bros.

Are you trying to ruin my life? I'm not saying that I'm so egotistical that I would believe that you read my previous post about having very little to look forward to in the way of movie releases until November when Harry Potter comes out and that you would move a movie premier simply to screw with my life but feels like ya did! I'm so incredibly disappointed right now. I am a very sad and lame person, which I openly admit, and I have very little to look forward to in my life when you stop to think about it, and this movie was one of those few things I had to look foward to. I mean, I understand that you guys have pretty much nothing to release next summer because of the writer's strike, but that whole strike thing was kind of your fault so why are you punishing fans for your mistakes? I get it, your fiscal 2009 is going to look as sad and pathetic as my life when compared to the million billion trillion dollars that The Dark Knight brought you, but that's not our fault. That's your fault for not making more awesome movies and keeping your writers happy. So, I'm pissed that you took my Harry Potter away from me. I'm more pissed that you took away my plans for my 10 year anniversary date, which was going to be dinner and Harry Potter. I don't think you realized that some (lame) people plan their whole autumn around this. And then, on top of it, you leave a release slot open for fucking Twilight to slip into? You are on notice for that one.

And then, to add insult to injury, you don't even warn Entertainment Weekly that you're changing the date in time for them to pull this cover:

So I'm taunted by the memory of the happiness I had planned, and I get to read a nice little article about how awesome the movie is going to be just to wait nearly an entire year to see it. You bastards.

Warner Bros. = Dead to me

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Desk Is Old And Moldy

So our office is currently going through this process of moving people into different cubicles to consolidate teams and get people who work together closer to one another so they can collaborate more easily. Well, today was day two of the moves and one of the buyers who sits near me started clearing her things out of her cubicle and her desk. Everything was fine until she went to move her computer. Underneath the computer was a copius layer of black mold. Like, makes you sick, awful, potentially deadly black mold. SO FRIGGIN GROSS!! It was all over her desk and the bottom of her computer, and when it was unearthed, it released a smell that I'd never care to experience again. Suddenly things snapped into place a bit. She's been sick for three or four months straight, and it's seriously everything you would get if you were exposed to black mold, except for the bleeding lungs and death. But you know, the rest of it. And, the guy who sits on the other side of her was having problems too. OH MY FRIGGIN GOD! We've all been working with a toxic substance and didn't even know it. ACK!

Makes me wonder if the plague that hit the office last winter was somehow related. You never know....

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Dear Stephenie Meyer...

Are you f*cking kidding me?! Ok, now I had my reservations about your series at the beginning, but I was willing to put that aside for the sake of frivolity and mindless entertainment. I picked up the series to see what all of the hype was about, and because if I'm going to teach high school I should at least have some clue about what high schoolers are reading. So, I started the first book with trepidation and continued because I wanted to know where it was going. From the beginning, I was willing to overlook the fact that you set feminism back by about 100 years, I as willing to overlook (though, not forgive) the fact that you gave teenage girls a doormat as their role model. I looked past this because I spend my year reading super heady literature for class and I wanted something that didn't tax my brain. I was even willing to ignore the fact that you created an entirely unrealistic vision of love for teenage girls to aspire to, where there are no real arguments and no real problems between the couple, and the man is willing to give his true love whatever she wants simply because he loves her. I was willing to look past all of that because I was having so much fun ridiculing the writing and the utter lack of plot. But now, my dear, the gloves are coming off. I was with you when you had a wedding for an 18 year old, because I know you're a Mormon and that's not so uncommon in your faith, but when you brought a fucking half vampire demon baby into the picture, I was officially done. Sure, I kept trudging through your epic length novel full of awkwardness and umm....COMPLETELY inappropriate love relationships between adults and infants (I don't care if it's "protective" or "brotherly" at that point, it's still creepy as shit) but it was just that. Trudging. I've been sitting here looking at the last 100 pages I have to go before I'm finished with this crap, and I'm still trying to force myself to finish it. Now, I get that all of this was a means to the plotless end you had set up in your head, but seriously, EPIC FAIL my friend. Sure, you want to progress your series, though I'm not sure what you were trying to progress it to, but once you got to forcibly eating a baby out of a uterus I was so far from being on the bandwagon that I couldn't even see it anymore. That was just unnecessary, and disturbing. If you make that shit into a movie, the R rating is really going to put a dent in your fan base. I was seriously grossed out, simply because it takes one twisted friggin' mind to come up with that kind of stuff. I sort of wonder what the heck was going on in your repressed little mind. Honestly though, I forgave a LOT of flaws, and allowed myself to be more selfish in my desire to tax my brain with nothing more than ridiculous teenage angst and unrealistic relationships that in no way resemble true love, but I don't think I have any forgiveness left. Now I'm just even more irritated by all of the things I overlooked in the earlier books. Now I just find it absolutely infuriating that you set up such an awful role model and an awful representation of love and relationships. Now, you just sort of piss me off.

I will not say that I didn't get something out of these books, because that was untrue. I got an amazing example of what is not good writing, and I really got a laugh out of everything. I have had more fun ridiculing the lack of plot, and the bizzarre twists you've taken on your twisted road to a "happy ending" than I've had in a very long time. I will never stop finding it depressing that this is what pre-teens and teenagers now aspire to, and that there are now t-shirts that say "Looking for an Edward" or something like that. I find those sad, and very wrong. I don't think anyone should look for a man who says they love them, then hurts them, then abandons them, then returns to reclaim them as if they're property, then insists on a marriage the woman doesn't necessarily want, then spends all of his time consumed by emo anguish that is both unwarranted and unnecessary. That is not the perfect man, no matter what anyone else may say. So, I am sad that even adult women (who I will have to assume are really unhappy in their marriages) are falling in love with this ficticious man who is....well....kind of a tool. So, as much joy as it has given me to examine how sad and funny these books really are ("I'll sing all night if it will keep the nightmares away", are you kidding me right now?!) I still find them poor approximations of real writing that has a plot and characters that are actually believeable and realistic to identify with.

So, I think I'll stick to my Harry Potter and let Twilight fade into the dark. And, no matter how arrogant you may be that you believe you are now the next JK Rowling, I'd like to just say, you're not. Not even close. Keep trying.

Oh, and learn to spell your name properly. I'm just sayin'...