Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year, New You?

Every time we ring in the New Year, everyone starts talking about goals and resolutions. This year seems different though. It seems like people who don't usually talk about changing their lives or about setting goals are now setting goals and making changes. It makes me think back on 2011 and wonder what it was about that year that has pushed people to start making these new resolutions. Personally, 2011 had its ups and downs in my life. 2010 ended as the darkest period I can remember in my adult life, so it felt like 2011 had to be better just by default, and in a lot of ways it was. I moved on to a new job I really enjoy, which was a huge relief after the way my previous year ended with respect to jobs. It also meant I left my beloved Borders after a very short return to the corporate offices. I didn't know it would be the last time I would set foot inside those walls, and I was horribly saddened to watch as they liquidated. Jason and I had some stress regarding his job situation, since he was left unemployed after his long term subbing ended in June, and then there was more stress because the temp job he accepted was not something he enjoyed, and when they took him on full time, he was really frustrated and has been unhappy in his work life ever since. So, that's been crummy. Though, the low points have been balanced by high points, like going to Europe, gaining a new nephew, and spending a lot of time with friends and family throughout the year. So it hasn't been all bad.

All in all, I kind of expect 2012 to be about the same. I know that people think this is going to be a good year, a better year, a great year. I don't know what it will be, myself, but I expect it to have its ups and downs just like everything else. I do, however, think that there's a chance there will be more ups than downs. I'm not sure why, but it just feels that way at the moment. Time will tell, I suppose. As for goals, I've been thinking about that too and I find that I have a hard time setting goals because I get angry with myself for not meeting them. But I suppose it doesn't hurt to set a few.

1. Get the house in order
This covers a variety of things, from finally organizing and putting finishing touches on rooms we've barely paid attention to since we moved in, to building a deck off the back of the house, to getting the garage re-organized. In general, although I know that a house is never "done", I want it to feel more done than it does right now.

2. Get myself in order
I don't think I'll go into too much detail about this, but I'll just say that sometimes I'm a real mess and I need to take care of not being a real mess. Plus, I need to do some hard thinking about some things and come to some decisions about myself. Mostly, I need to get my head out of my ass.

3. Branch out
I often find that I stick with things that feel safe, easy, low risk. I don't go out and meet new people often. I don't tend to do anything that's not done as a "couple" where Jason and I both attend. I don't say yes to opportunities or offers a lot of the time, and I don't let myself make mistakes. Heck, I don't even really have any hobbies. So, I think this year I should try to branch out a bit and try some new things.

4. Let Go More, Live More
This ties into the whole "get my shit together" goal, but relates directly to me letting go of things more often instead of letting every little thing get to me like I have a habit of doing sometimes. I need to sort out what matters from what doesn't matter. I'm not going to lie, I'm not optimistic about this goal being reached.

5. Do more theater stuff with THAT
It's been great working with the kids at LHS for all of these years, but sometimes you want more than just hassles and headaches. Sometimes you want some control, and something to work toward that is bigger than yourself. Last summer doing Much Ado was fantastic. Time consuming, yes, but so rewarding. I want more of that. I want to make this into something real, and something sustainable so more people can do theater in the community.

So that's it. My big list of 5 items that seem rather daunting, when I really think about it, but they're goals right? It's ok if I don't make it? It's the journey, not the destination and all that stuff right?

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